I Hate New Years Resolutions

I hate New Years Resolutions. Every year, people (myself included) make stupid & unmanageable demands on themselves, setting goals so high that the resolutions never stick… and then end up feeling like shit about themselves. Or they don’t take their resolutions seriously…
 
So, this year I’m doing things differently.
 
I WILL NOT “diet” or eat “healthy”. I like baking, junk food, and our weekly takeout too much. Moderation is key, and I’m tired of getting on the scale and being disappointed every day.
I WILL attempt to cook one new dish a week. Just one… and I’ll probably share.
 
I WON’T run a half marathon. But I’m sure as hell going to train.
I WILL run a 5k. I do it at least 3 days a week, so why not a race?
I WILL run 5 miles more a month then I did the month before.  Maybe I’ll be 10k ready by the summer!
 
I WILL NOT fold the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer. I hate folding laundry, and I’ll most likely continue to leave it in the “clean laundry basket” for as long as I damn well please.
 
I WON’T be nicer to the cat, but I WILL brush him more. He’s an asshole. I don’t call him Jelly the Destroyer for nothing…
 
I WILL sing out loud and dance around the apartment in high heels and sweatpants when I clean it. Or whenever else I want to.
 
Happy New Year.
-Hey Waitress!!

 

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